Monday, November 16, 2009

My Favorite Song

We had one of those church services yesterday morning where you never want to leave!! Our pastor preached for an hour and it seemed like 10 minutes. And at altar call, I would say 95% of the people there were at the altar!! God was all over that place, it was all about HIM, and it was amazing! We sang my most fave song too and there were hands everywhere raised in worship, it was a little tiny slice of what Heaven will be like, I can't wait!

My fave song is "In Christ Alone", so I thought I would share the lyrics. Reading them doesn't even begin to do them justice, although there are some mighty powerful statements in them. But I urge you to download the song, if your tech savvy, or buy a cd, just somehow get your hands on this song, it is anointed!!!!

My favorite part of the song is in the second verse where it says, "Till on that cross where Jesus died, the wrath of God was satisfied, For every sin on Him was laid, Here in the death of Christ I live". WOW, gives me goose bumps just reading it. Hallelujah!

In Christ Alone

In Christ alone my hope is found,
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground,
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh,
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness,
Scorned by the ones He came to save
Till on that cross as Jesus died,
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay.
Light of the world by darkness slain,
Then bursting forth in glorious Day,
Up from the grave He rose again,
And as He stands in victory,
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me,
For I am His and He is mine,
Brought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death,
This is the power of Christ in me,
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man,
Can ever pluck me from His hand'
Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

It's too early.

I am watching a little girl for a co worker of my husband's this morning. Her daycare providers had a funeral and were closed today. Her dad dropped her off at 5:55 this morning! I think I might have gotten up that early twice in the last year and one of those times was to go "Black Friday" shopping, I'll do anything for a bargain. Anyway, this sweet 2 year old girl had to get up before 5:30 this morning to get to my house, that's early! She took up with me right away, didn't cry or anything, and is sitting in the recliner watching Blue's Clue's.

The point to all of this is, I am so thankful to God and grateful to my husband that I and my children get to sleep in to the last possible minute! And during the summer we can sleep in til we're up! And I am here when the kids get home. There are so many wonderful sets of parents where both of them work and have to get themselves and their kids up at the crack of dawn every morning and God bless them! Those working mom's are nothing short of miraculous! And their children will learn a whole different set of life skills that mine have! We haven't had to do that, yet! I may some day and then I will learn what it is like. For now I am so blessed to be a stay at home mom and I don't take want to take that for granted.

Kuddos to all you working moms, and dads, out there, hang in there! Kuddos to all you stay at home moms, and dads, out there, it's not like we are eating bon bons and taking bubble baths, huh?! Neither job is easy, but both are rewarding!

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Pleasantly Surprised

To find out that I had lost another few pounds! I mentioned that I have been working out again, well I kicked it up a notch this week, just trying to build up my endurance and strength, and whadya know I've lost another 3 lbs, just in the past week! So excited. Who would've thought it, the old fashioned way of losing weight really does work! If I can lose another 8 lbs. I will be the smallest I have been since before getting married! I'm working fast and furious toward my "Hot Mom" status, HA!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I'm addicted.....

to Nutella! This choclatey hazelnut goodness is so yummy, if you haven't had any you MUST try some. I like it on toast and biscuits, but my fave way to eat it is on croissants, mmmmmmmm! Just thought I would share. And if anyone has any other yummy ways to eat it please let me know!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Happy Fall Ya'll.

I cannot believe it is fall already! And Christmas is a mere 2 months away! I'm freaking out right now!! I have bought nothing and money will be in somewhat of a short supply this season. However, kids are easy to please, even with little money! Note to self, start shopping in MAY next year! We try to focus on the "Christ" in Christmas, not the commercial part anyway, so not much money probably isn't a bad thing!

My life is a monotonous flow of identical days that seem that they will never end!!! Wake up, get breakfast, take 2 kids to school, work out, shower, pick up 4 year old from preschool, make beds, do laundry, clean up kitchen, make lunch, clean up kitchen again, break up fights, put 4 year old in "time out" 5 million times for being mean to his sister, vacuum, laundry, laundry, laundry, pick up 3rd grader from school, break up 10,000 fights, start preparing supper, eat supper, clean up kitchen, over see homework, bathe 3 children, break up 15,000 fights between the 9 and 4 year old, finally put fighting children to bed, read for a bit (maybe), then fall into an exhausted, like the dead sleep! Sometimes throwing errands into the day. I KNOW I need to be enjoying these days, but sometimes I feel like I am barely making it through the days without turning into the "Joan Crawford" mother. The bickering is sucking the life out of me!!!!!!!!

I really do love my children and my life, just feeling very overwhelmed right now. Trust me, I know I only have three, and lots of moms do it with many more than that, and God Bless 'em, they are saints! But right now my 3 feel like 6!

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Weighing In and a Giveaway

I was reading back through some of my old posts and realized I never did post my weight loss to date. If anyone remembers I started a weight loss regime waaaaaay back in March, my starting weight was 181. By May I had lost.....drum roll please........30lbs!!!!!!! I reached my first goal! I am very excited about it. I took the summer off, didn't work out or do any special eating, BUT monitored my weight closely to make sure I didn't start creeping back up. There is NO WAY I am putting that weight back on, losing weight bites and I am not letting myself, barring anything out of my control, get back in that position again.

So now I have 10 more to go to reach my ultimate goal. So two weeks ago, now that school has started again and we have a routine going, I started walking/running on the treadmill again. Even if I don't lose any more weight, as long as I can keep the weight off I just lost and get in great shape I will be happy.

I have never been a runner. Even in high school when I weighed 120 lbs soaking wet and could play intense volleyball for 8 hours straight, I never was a runner. I have always admired runners, envied them really, they always seem to be such athletes! So I have decided at the ripe old age of 35, almost 36, to give running a go. My goal is to be able to run a 5 or 10k in the spring. Hopefully it will be a 10k, but I also want to set a realistic goal, so we'll see. Are there 7k's out there? Anyway I'm giving it a go.

If anyone remembers waaaaay back in the spring I promised a giveaway when I reached my goal of 160 lbs, well I reached it! So I am going to do a giveaway sometime real soon. So my one reader should have a pretty good chance of winning, ha! So stay tuned!

Friday, September 4, 2009

Puberty, yuck.

So my oldest just turned 9 on Tuesday and she has started puberty! Yes I am talking about a sensitive subject, so read with caution. I realize this might mortify her if she knew I was posting this, but she will never know. I just feel the need to share, and since I am pretty sure only women read this blog, and we've all been through this, I think we will all understand. About a year ago she started getting breasts, not much, but alot for an 8 year old. We had her checked out and they do an xray to check for what is called "bone age" in children and if that is the same as their biological age they are fine, and she was. Well in a year she has gotten quite larger breasts and started showing other signs as well. Took her back to the dr. and her bone age is now 11, which means she has entered puberty, and it looks like she is running toward it full boar. ~sigh~

She is only 9! Now granted she may not actually start menstreuating (sp?), for a few years, but then again it could be not that long either. Regardless, kids that young shouldn't have to deal with this. She is getting an MRI done in October to make sure there is nothing abnormal there causing her to start puberty at this age, just as a precaution. But that is going to be a real fun day. She probably is just an early bloomer, so we aren't real concerned right now. I know there are lots of women who started their periods at 11, even some 10, but I have always thought that was soooo young. I was 14, quite the late bloomer, and I loved it.

I was really hoping she would be a late bloomer too. But Kayleigh never does anything like a "normal" child, lol. She has had her share of struggles in her life and it just seems that when it rains it pours. I know she will be fine and that this is a part of life and cannot be avoided, and it's natural, blah, blah, blah. But she's 9 and she's my baby and I don't want her to have to deal with this until the last possible moment, I'm asking alot, I know.

I am not going to tell anyone about this right now, I don't even want to tell my mom or mil. I just really don't feel like having to tell people something else our daughter is having "issues" with. I also don't want to hear anyone tell me this is just a fact of life and I need to deal with it, as one of my friends, actually a good one, said in so many words. Because I might punch them, seriously. I needed to share though, and thought this would be a safe place. My family does not visit this blog so I'm good, lol. And you guys are not in physical reach of a "punch" at the moment, haha.

I know there are so many worse things out there that could be wrong with my daughter, trust me. And my heart goes out to those parents whose kids face things much tougher than this, and I apologize to any of them if this seems trivial. I count my blessings daily! But it doesn't make the struggles she has faced hurt any less.

Thanks for "listening".

Old Spice lip gloss

So I found Gwen yesterday coating her lips with Donny's deodorant. ~sigh~ She is such a plunderer! My other two weren't at all. Not that Gabe doesn't misbehave in other ways, just getting into everything wasn't one of them, lol. She wasn't poisoned, I know this because the one time Gabe did plunder he also ate some deodorant, and wasn't using it as lip gloss, it was a snack. I called poison control then, and they told me that you have to consume alot of it for it to hurt you, so all was well.

We have decided we must put locks up high on the bathroom door and the front door to keep our explorer safe. Her name is now "Hurricane Gwen", and that sums it all up. If she lives to be 10, it'll be a miracle. If I live to her 10th birthday without every single hair on my head turning gray that will be a miracle. Although no one will ever know if it all turns gray because my hair is a beautiful shade of mahogany brown with some red tones, Medium Spice, to be exact, and will stay that color for a loooooooong time, lol. No growing old gracefully here, fighting it tooth and nail!

Sunday, August 30, 2009

This n That

Don't get to go to church this morning, ugh, I HATE missing. I enjoy being with my Christian family so much! Gabe has a slight fever this morning, and the stomach flu has been going around, but no puking yet! Usually Donny stays home since I teach a class, but he is working today, so I'm home :(

Been reading some really, really great books lately. Under the Overpass by is an eye opening account of two mens journey to choose to live homeless for 6 months, to better be able to understand and minister to people's needs. And WOW, you really get a look at people's misconceptions and attitudes toward homeless people that are absolutely sickening and frightening.

The other book I'm reading is Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker. This book gets at the very heart of our Christianity. Of how so many of us have been "playing" church, living passionless and selfishly. It has really hit my heart in a serious way. God has been burdening my heart for a long time now, and this book just kind of put into words what I have been feeling. It's as if she wrote down my very thoughts! Both of these are some serious reading, and once read we have a responsibility to act, so read with caution, lol.

On a lighter note, my kids have made my life so much more fulfilled, but I swear sometimes it feels like they will be the death of me, lol. The past few weeks have just been FULL of mommy moments. Gwen disasters, like pulling dressers down, twice. 2 of the kids being sick, all of us having a dr. appointment on Friday, with the youngest 2 getting shots. And just regular everyday bickering and whining. Some days my goal is just to stay sane, sometimes I do, sometimes I feel I'm on the brink, lol.

Gabe started preschool on Thursday and Kayleigh starts 3rd grade in a week. Hoping a routine will help with the craziness.

Oh and it was 54 degrees last night, in August in the Midwest, crazy! Kayleigh's birthday is Tuesday, and the day she was born I think the temperature was 105, go figure.

Have a great Sunday ya'll!

Monday, August 24, 2009

This n that

I kind of took a break from blogging, in case anyone noticed :) I'm back, in case anyone cares, lol. Just been a busy summer, and about to be a busier fall. But isn't everyone "busy". My busyness isn't any more important than another's busyness I would say, so that is no excuse.

Please pray for my husband's cousin, Shelly. She lost her husband about a month ago, he died of cancer, at the age of 42, after about a 2 year very painful battle. Very sad. Then an aunt died a few days ago, and today 4 hours before that funeral, Shelly's dog, Sabre, who she has had for 12 years got hit by a car and died. She has no children, he's her baby. She, understandably, isn't doing well today. Her grief plate is full right now. She could use some help bearing it.

Donny, my husband, is down at his folks, about 2 hours from here, for the funeral of the aunt. So I'm a single mom for a few days. I'm a single mom most days, his work schedule is crazy, add any family trips and there ya go. Gwen has been quite, um, curious today. She rubbed nail glue all over her bare belly, you know the kind that dries in 1 second flat and is so strong it can suspend a two hundred pound man with a hard hat on to a steel pole. Thankfully she got it on no other body parts to stick them together, sheesh that could have been bad. And for anyone who says to me, well don't leave it out where she can get it. I say, I was glueing some broken toys together, turned my back for 5 seconds and hurricane Gwen struck. Seriously, she is faster than Edward Cullen. Then she pulls over her and her sisters bookshelf/cubby thingy in their room. Toys and books everywhere. Put her down for her nap and wouldn't ya know it she didn't sleep a wink. ~sigh~ I'm at my Gwenny disaster/whining limit for the day and it's a looooooong time til bedtime, pray for me.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Long time no write

Just really haven't felt like blogging lately. My weight loss has stalled out big time. I am down to 161-162 and holding fast. We are not doing the low carb anymore, just got burnt out on the time and energy it took to plan and prepare every meal. I am still working out faithfully, which is keeping me where I am and I think I am losing a tiny bit of weight that way as well, so we will see. I am going to do something eating wise again soon to get another 10 pounds off, just taking a small break. Never did get below 160 for a giveway, but still trying!

Hope everyone's Mother's Days were great, mine was. I got 2 dozen golf balls from my kids and after church and lunch at our fave Chinese buffet I got to go play golf with a friend all afternoon, it was great. AND I had a birdie, my first one ever. For anyone not familiar with golf that is when you get the ball in the hole one under par. For instance if a hole is par 4, which means if your good you should be able to hit the ball in the hole with 4 shots, and you hit it in with 3, that is a birdie. Very exciting!

Haven't been keeping up with everyone's blog's very well either, will try to do that today. Miss you all!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Gotta love Easter

I hope everyone's Easter was amazing. Mine always is. Easter is my favorite "holiday". I hate calling it a holiday, I don't know why, it just sounds weird to me to call it that. But I guess it is a holiday, it's a day of celebration and remembrance, and that is after all what a holiday is. I am so unworthy and overwhelmed with what Jesus did for me on the cross, that I tear up on a normal day. Having a whole day set aside just to remember his death and his victorious resurrection makes me happy! Of course Christians should live everyday like it's Easter, but life sometimes gets in the way of that unfortunately. Thank you God....."in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us"....., He died for me, He loves me, a horrible, wretched unworthy sinner! But praise God, the blood of Jesus covers those sins! Gives me goose bumps thinking about it, phew!

My weight loss is ok this week. I was down to 162.6 yesterday, but I am up a pound or two from that today. I let myself have a "free" day on Easter, gotta let myself endulge sometime or I'll quit, and that caught up with me today. I got right back on track yesterday, so hopefully after a few days of eating right again, my weight will start falling again. I don't regret that free day though, totally worth it! Gotta love chocolate marshmallow bunnies! So my weight is somewhere around the 163-164 mark. Have a great Tuesday everyone!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Easter pics

Had a great Easter, here are a few pics.

Gwen had a major meltdown when we took her easter basket candy away from her to get her ready for church, so here were the best pics we could get with her in them.

She and I.

All the kids.


Having a chocolate bunny for breakfast. It's easter, it's tradition.

Thanks for looking.

Monday, April 6, 2009

2.4 Pounds

That's what I lost this week, yay me! 5 would have been better, but hey, I'll take 2.4. Only 4.4 pounds away from a giveaway. I'll get there sometime in the next month, I hope!

Easter is Sunday, yay Jesus! Love, love, love Easter! And the girls easter dresses, are super d-duper cute, can't wait to post pics!

Have a great week!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Cravings, ahhhh!

This week has been the toughest week I've had with having bad cravings. I am wanting to eat all the time! The thing is on the eating plan I am on I eat alot, so much that sometimes I am amazed that I lose weight because of the amount of food I am allowed to eat! It is very healthy food, but still, it just doesn't seem right.

Anyway, I am craving ALL things that are bad for me, I haven't given in, thank God, but wow has it been tough. I think that pms is doing this to me, I was reading on a weight loss support group and they said pms can be the culprit. So hopefully, next week will be much better, at least the cravings might be gone, lol. And I have been soooo tired, moreso than normal, I will be glad when those two things are gone.

I believe I have lost a pound or two this week so that is good. Just keep chugging along on this journey. It is going to take a little longer than I thought it would to get the next 20 pounds off, which is a bummer, but I hope then that it will be a lifestyle change for me, and not just a weight loss solution. It will hopefully form new good habits and I will be able to keep the weight off. Cause I sure don't want to have to do this again, it ain't fun people! But worth it!

Monday, March 30, 2009

My New Number and My "Strange" Status

I have lost 4 lbs since last Monday! Bringing my grand total to 14.2 pounds lost! Yay! So my weight is now 166.8, only 6.8 pounds to go until I do a giveaway. My goal for today was 165, and honestly after my weigh in last week I didn't think I would even be down this low today. So I'm excited!

Yesterday in Bible study we were talking about "strange" things that God might ask us to do, well things that may seem strange to us anyway. You know like when he asked Gideon to fight thousands with only 300 men and they totally kicked butt, and didn't lose one single soldier! Or when Joshua and the children of Israel just walked around the walls and they fell down flat to the ground. Or when he asked Noah to build a GIANT boat on dry land, in a time when it had probably never ever rained!

Strange requests from God usually always mean something great is going to happen. If you think about it all the "heroes" of the Bible were asked to do "strange" things. And I got to thinking about that, and ya know if God isn't asking us to do "strange" things, it's either that we aren't listening, or He doesn't ask us because He knows we wouldn't do them and we aren't "hero" material. I want to be "strange" for Him. I don't want to live an ordinary life, I want to do those things that people will ask each other what in the world is she doing now! We are called to be a "strange" people, so let's do it, let's be strange together!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Good News

is coming on Monday! I couldn't help it and weighed myself today and the number is good! I'm so pumped to now lose the rest of this weight. Maybe I will even lose another pound by Monday! The giveaway number is getting closer so stay tuned!

Friday, March 27, 2009


Actually it hasn't been a bad week, but Friday's are just, well Friday's! I *think* I will have a good number to report on Monday. I weighed yesterday, Thursday's are my days with my workout buddy when we weigh and do a workout. And I had lost some, again finally! I think I figured out what I was doing wrong, so hopefully back on the right track!

Our church is showing the move "Fireproof" tonight at church, very exciting! I am in childcare, I've already seen it so I volunteered to keep the kiddos, but will still be fun cause I will be doing it with friends! Everything is better with friends.

So if I don't get back here before Monday, I've been kinda busy this week, I will be here for the big weigh in! I'm actually looking forward to it this time! (I think!)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Week 4, day 2

I didn't get a post done yesterday, the day got quite busy and just sort of got away from me. So my weight loss was nothing to get excited about, but here goes. I lost .4 lbs, woopee! At least I didn't gain, but still that's depressing. So I took yesterday and went over my plan and found some ways that I needed to tweak it a little. I had been doing good on my low carb, but after the first two weeks I had let my guard down a little and was eating too many things with artificial sweeteners in them, which that is never good for you, not drinking enough water and not eating enough veggies. So I am ready for another week, and hopefully will have better results next Monday. I'm recharged and ready to go!

Me and a couple friends of mine are going to take a group golf lesson here soon, which will be so fun. I like to golf, but am just not very good at it, so maybe now I will be able to actually compete when I play, I do like to win ya know.

Easter will be here soon, one of my most favorite days of the year. What a victorious day for the world, Jesus defeat of death and sin. Of course everyday should be a celebration of that as a Christian, something I need to work on! And of course the day to break out new pretty spring dresses and clothes. I got the girls matching dresses from Children's place, and they are going to look super adorable, can't wait to take their pics. Gabe will of course look super cute too, but let's face it boys clothes just aren't that exciting, lol! I will have three more weeks of weight loss under my belt, if I can lose 5-10 more pounds I would like to get a new pair of shoes and a nice shirt, so we will see.

Happy Tuesday all!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

One big ~sigh~

Nothing much to write about today. As I am typing I am listening to my 2 year old and 4 year old scream, scratch and hiss at each other, ugh! Oh somebody please tell me the bickering goes away as they get older. Somebody? PLEASE?! Don't tell me that it gets worse like it did when I was a kid and bickered with my younger sister 24 hours a day, please don't tell me that. Because I don't think my paper thin nerves can handle that kind of overwhelming information right now. If I remember one thing my parents told me when I was a kid it was to stop fighting with my sister ~sigh~ Paybacks a, well you know what it is, right?

I am not feeling very confident about my weigh in tomorrow. I just might be throwing myself a pity party instead of a happy dance. Why is it anything worth having is hard work? Can't something worth having, just once, be easy? Having a twinkie sure isn't hard work, and it's worth having, imo, but the pounds it packs on sure aren't worth a darn nickel! ~sigh~ I'm done sighing, I'm going to put said bickering children down for a nap and then I am going to have myself a good old fashioned Sunday afternoon nap as well I think! Be back tomorrow.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

She's a super dooper pooper!

So not sure if my weigh in on Monday will be very exciting or not. I feel like I haven't lost any weight :( I had to weigh on Thursday, I weigh mid week with a friend, and I had lost maybe 1/2 a pound. ~sigh~ I have been hovering around the 170/171 mark all week, I was at 170.2 on Thursday, and man I want to break that 170 mark so bad. I really guzzled the water yesterday and watched my eating really closely to make sure I was doing everything just right. Tomorrow is my day of rest from working out. Sunday is my only day off, from working out, not from monitoring my carbs. So hopefully by Monday I will be below 170, if I'm not, I am really going to be discouraged.

So here's another Gwenny story. She was napping, so I thought. I heard her, and went to check on her and walked in and she said "poop". And oh the smell. She had pooped, then taken her diaper off and little poop balls were laying in her bed, and she had also pee'd on her sheets. First time that has happened to me, hard to believe with three kids, but true. Oh the child, she just leaves us speechless. She is such a well of surprises. Lucky me!

Friday, March 20, 2009

She's a Plundering Fool

Since I last blogged Gwenny has taken the opportunity to get into the drawer in the bathroom where I keep my maxi pads and panti liners and open all of them up and leave them on the bathroom floor, and get out the blank dvd's Donny uses to copy things to and scatter them all over the dining room floor. The girl is a mess waiting to happen. My other two children were not like this. Kayleigh was an angel in every way, and Gabe was no angel, he leaned a little toward the devilish side alot, a fact which worried me, but he never plundered! So she drives me crazy with her exploration. We do in fact lock most drawers and cabinets to keep her out, she just happens to know which ones we have not gotten to yet, wise little girl!

I have now been walking everyday for three weeks so I decided to start trying to gradually work some running in to the routine. Holy Cramp! I am no runner that is for sure. I ran for a total of maybe 8 minutes today, and I split that into two chunks amidst my walking. I am going to forge ahead though because I can just feel the fat melting off when I run! I just have to literally get through the running with sheer will power 'cause it ain't easy. I am now walking at 3.7 miles an hour for 45 minutes to an hour a day and that is quite a brisk pace let me tell ya!

I have decided that my goal for a giveaway is 160 lbs., so I hope it happens quickly. As of this past Monday I was 11 away from that, so keep tuning in to find out when the I hit that magic number. My ultimate goal is 145, so I might do another one when I reach that goal, and I should really make it a doosy 'cause I am going to have to work super hard to get there! Happy Friday everyone!

Thursday, March 19, 2009


I had the first experience of someone asking me what I had been doing to lose weight because I looked great! That makes me feel better than any number on the scale can. Don't get me wrong, that number still matters to me, ALOT!

Van got fixed, cost $750, puke! But I am thankful that we have a fan to fix! Gotta look at the bright side.

I realized yesterday that I don't write about the kids much. It's not because I don't love 'em like crazy. To be honest I'm really not sure why I don't. I guess I should write more about how Gwen cannot be left unattended in a room that has anything at all in it that she isn't supposed to have, because I swear the girl is a hound dog. She can sniff out a highlighter or my makeup, even if it were in a concrete vault! I sure hope highlighter ink is non toxic 'cause that's what she had for a snack this morning :( Ever see those commercials where the mom says about her son that it'll be a miracle if he lives to be ___, and puts a certain age in the blank. That is what we say about Gwen all the time, I swear the girl would eat poop if I let her, ugh!

Wow, I really have been blogging much more lately, and it is very therapeutic gotta say. Might be boring for everyone else, but feels good for me.

Speaking of anyone else, if there is possibly anyone who reads this blog besides my best friend and a few "cyber" friends, please say "hi" so that I can check out your blogs too! Love making friends!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Week 3 day 3

So we have been excercising and eating right for about 2 1/2 weeks now, and it really has flown by! I am so happy that we have started and stuck with it! I have pretty much gotten past the point of craving things I shouldn't have. Occasionally I will have one, but nothing I can't handle. I am not going to weigh myself again until Monday, I am determined to stay off that scale. Usually I will weigh myself first thing in the morning and I didn't do that today, so off to a good start.

On another note, we have to take the van to the shop today. It has been leaking a tiny bit of oil. UGH, I hate vehicle maintenance, it is so expensive! And when you aren't made of money, like us, it is so stressful! I am always nervous when we get the call and they tell us how much it's gonna be. Praying it is something minor, but Donny says oil leaks are never good ~sigh~.

Gonna walk in the park today instead of the treadmill, Donny is off work today so I get a "break". I jumped on the trampoline with the kids yesterday evening, for fun and to burn a few extra calories, and man is that a workout! I would do it for like one minute, then have to rest, then do another minute, then rest. But it was fun and something I can do with the kiddos.

I have decided that I am going to set a goal weight and when I reach that goal, I am going to reward myself and the 2 people that read my blog, ha, by doing a give away. I've never done one before, but wanted to. So I will figure that out and let ya know soon.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Stupid scale

Ok, I know you are not supposed to weigh everyday when you are trying to lose weight. But I never was one to always do what I'm told, so I have been weighing much too often. And I pay for it too. Because we all know that weight fluctuates a couple of pounds at any given time of the day, and it is so dang depressing for the scale to show more on it today than it did yesterday morning! I know it's not unusual and doesn't mean I have gained any weight, it is frustrating none the less. I have to stop doing that!

Now my "official" weight that I use when writing down my weight loss, I do at the same time of day, so hopefully it's pretty accurate. Off to do the torture I call the treadmill!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Drum roll please....

I have lost 10 pounds! I am so serious when I say this, that nothing I can eat can make me feel this good! I am on cloud 9! I worked so hard the last couple of weeks, and to see these great results is more than I could have hoped for! I have at least 20 more to go, and then I would like to work on 10 more after that, but the next 20 are the priority. Lots of work still ahead, and I know even though today is a euphoric day, I will have bad days ahead, so I have to stay focused and plow ahead! Let's roll!

Sunday, March 15, 2009


are great! They are my most favorite day of the week I think. I love getting to go to church, yes I said "getting to go" not "having to go", it's a privilege to get to go to our wonderful church and worship with fellow church goers whom I love dearly! Then it's out to eat and home to rest. Which most of the time means a nap, but sometimes just a sit in the recliner for an hour. This day has been the same for me my whole entire life, it's something that has never changed, the routine, not the location, which has changed many times, and I love that! Right now the kids are playing outside in the wonderful 60 degree sunshiny weather, while Donny enjoys our new cushiony patio set, doesn't get any better than that! God is good, all the time! And I mean that through the bad times too!

I am super excited to weigh in the morning and post my weight loss! Even if no one reads this, it will feel so good to type it out. And I am so excited to keep going, results are a fabulous motivator. If I keep losing like this I will reach my goal in way less time than I gave myself! And THAT is something worth blogging aboout!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Week 2 day 6

I walked in the park this morning, even though it was FREEZING! Just trying to keep from getting bored of walking on the treadmill everyday. I weighed myself today, but not going to blog what I've lost until Monday, hoping that maybe I'll lose some more between now and then. I am starting to notice the weight loss in inches, cannot wait until I walk into a room and someone says, WOW you've lost weight haven't you, that will be so worth all this!

Thursday, March 12, 2009


I'm not sure why, but the beginning of the week is so easy to get through as far as eating right, excercise and weight loss is concerned. Then for some weird reason come about Thursday/Friday and I start feeling discouraged, disheartened, depressed and feeling like I am not making any progress. Why is that? I really don't have a clue.

Of course if I stepped on the scale today and saw that I had lost another 5 lbs, I would be ecstatic. But we all know that isn't going to happen. I gotta say on days like this, doing any kind of lifestyle change/excercese regime really bites. I feel like the thought of it consumes me, and I can think of nothing else all day. It's a drudgery and I am just muscling my way through the day. I don't have the compulsion to cheat, but my heart just isn't in it.

On good days I am excited, and happy to be doing it. I have lots of energy and a positive outlook. ~sigh~ I think one thing that gets me down, sometimes even on good days, is knowing it is going to take months to get the body I want. My goal is three months. Which I know isn't that long compared to the two years I have been putting on the weight! The road ahead just seems so long. One day at a time, one day at a time, that is what I keep telling myself!

Even on the bad days I have no desire to quit. That thought hasn't even crossed my mind. I am NOT going to let food and laziness get in the way of feeling good about myself and having enough energy to be a great mom to my kids and to be the temple God intended my body to be for Him! It is shameful and a sin that I have not taken better care of it! No more though, only victory for me from now on. With the help of my Saviour!

More pics

Some more pics of the house.

This is the dining room, looking into it from the living room. As you will notice I took some of these pictures in the fall and some in December, notice the stockings :)

This is the living room, looking in from the front door to your left.
Standing in front of the tv looking at the door.

View from the dining room into living room.

Our small kitchen.

And Gabes room. Excuse the mess on his top bunk. I use it to throw anything that I am going to put in a garage sale onto his bed until I have time to tote it and mark it.

I found this dresser at a rummage sale for $20 and repainted it myself!

A few more rooms left, will try to get those up tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Some pics of the house

Finally, if anyone is interested, here are the pics from our "new" house. Well it was new (to us) when we moved in 7 months ago!

These are of mine and Donny's room and the upstairs bathroom.

These are of the girls room.

Will post more (hopefully) tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009


Not a very catchy blog title, I know, but don't have anything catchy to say really. My life is so normal right now, and I don't feel that I am one of these creative writers who can make funny stuff out of nothing, and my kids haven't done anything really "blog" worthy lately, so I don't really have much to say. Back in the summer when my life was total chaos I could have written books, but I am GLAD that time is over!

Eating right and excercising still going well. Yesterday I did my cardio in the morning then played volleyball last night, so I technically got 2 workouts yesterday, which is awesome! Not going to weight myself today, although it is sooo hard to resist that temptation. I want immediate results, but that also makes me discouraged when I don't lose any weight from the day before. Unrealistic expectations I know, but I can't help it, I'm a perfectionist.

Today it is going to be in the 70's again, so I am going to walk in the part instead of on the treadmill since Donny is home. Gotta take advantage of that!

Gotta get through another day of laundry, the thorn in my flesh, cooking and cleaning up 3 meals and any other housework I can fit in between wiping butts and noses and breaking up fights and reading Barney and spiderman books. Sounds like a great Tuesday to me, how about you?

Monday, March 9, 2009

Week 2, Day 1

It's amazing how much difference 12 hours makes. Last night I was feeling defeated and today I feel pretty good. Knowing that I lost 5 lbs. the first week might have something to do with that. I need to "trust the process", if you have watched "The Biggest Loser" you know what I mean. I am still really tired, but did my workout already, despite this also being day 1 of "the curse". So I say that's a successful day so far.

I have decided to try to write my thoughts out on here, hopefully every day, and track my progress, so I can look back and remember how hard this is, so that I don't let myself go in the future so I don't have to freakin' do this again!

I am going to weigh myself every Monday and Friday, I just cannot go a whole week without peeking, would drive me nuts.

I cannot wait for this pooch and my "love handles" to be gone. I really wish they wouldn't call them that, they don't make me feel "love"ly or "love"able or "love"ing. Anyway, off to eat a healthy lunch!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Weighing in

I know it's been forever since I last blogged. If everyone has forgotten about me I totally understand. I am posting now for me, so if no one reads, not a big deal.

Donny and I started Atkins last Monday. I am now 180 lbs. OH, I am so ashamed to admit that. I am 5' 8", so 180 on me isn't as bad as 180 on someone who is 5'3", but I am overweight for the first time in my life, and it makes me sick. When we got married, 12 years ago, I think I weighed around 130. Now that technically is below what is recommended for someone my height to weigh, and I admit I was too skinny. But, believe me or not, that was my natural weight. I ate like a horse all the time, no dieting for me. Got married, gained 20 pounds, was at probably my ideal weight. Had 2 kids, still skinny. Had Gwennie at age 33, and my body wasn't able to bounce back naturally this time. Eating whole boxes of fudge rounds doesn't help either.

We bought a treadmill, got it in on Saturday, and started eating right and working out on Monday. Donny has gained alot of weight as well since we got married, so he said he would do it too. I was soooo excited after the first three days, I had lost 3 pounds and had lots of energy, I had gotten over cravings and was feeling great. Now I feel lousy. I am exhausted, which can happen when you cut back on carbs, and craving EVERYTHING I can't have, and am freaking out because I haven't lost any more weight. Ok, I know you aren't supposed to weigh yourself very often when you are dieting, but I can't help myself! And I know if I just lose 3 pounds a week, it will only take me 10 weeks to get down to 150, which isn't bad. I haven't cheated on my eating YET, and I haven't skipped out or cut back on my cardio. I'm gonna lose this weight come hell or high water. It just sucks!

I am so mad at myself for letting my body get this out of control. And mad that I can let food control my life. I'm scared that my body won't respond as quickly as it did in the past when I have worked to get the last 10 pounds of baby weight off. I am tired of eating the same things everyday. Did I mention that I am mad! But also mad in a good way, it is fueling my determination to hang in there. The song "The voice of truth" don't know if that is the title, or who sings it, keeps going through my head. It has become my theme song in my battle.

So, it's been one week tomorrow. I have to just get through another day. One day at a time! That has been my mantra through the baby stages of no sleep, and got me through that, surely it can get me through this too. Self, hang in there. It will be sooo worth it in 3 months, when I am (hopefully) 30 pounds lighter. ~sigh~

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A Giveaway.

Kristen, from "The way it is", is having an awesome giveaway. Go check it out. Her blog is pretty awesome too!

Friday, January 30, 2009


Is an AWESOME movie. I couldn't wait to see it. When I was in the eighth grade Kirk Cameron was my McDreamy, lol. He was on the show "Growing Pains" then and I was "in love" with him. I had a poster of him on my wall. As an adult he isn't all that to me anymore, still cute, but definitely not my McDreamy. But I enjoy seeing him in movies since he is pretty much out of the hollywood scene, except for doing some christian films. And I enjoy seeing movies that are inspirational, meaning christian, in nature.

The movie is just so moving. I have seen it twice now and cried like a baby at the end of it both times. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. Even if you aren't a christian, there are principles and lessons in it for anyone. And it's just a really good movie. Ok, the acting isn't as good as say a Brad Pitt movie, but the content is a million times better! At least I think so.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Kayleigh, part two

The scheduled our appointment for the next day. I went home and called Donny to fill him in, and it's a miracle I was able to talk coherently. I honestly do not remember much about the rest of that day or the next morning, I think I just walked around in a fog. We headed to St. Louis the next morning, Donny's parent's met us there. I remember being just a great big bundle of nerves. We finally get to see the doctor, after what felt like forever. He looked at her eyes for a long time. Then he sat back and with a chart, very calmly explained what had happened to our baby. She was born with a birth defect in both eyes. In laymans terms her eye simply stopped developing at some point in utero, both eyes at different stages. Her right eye's cornea is severely misshapen, her eye looks very cloudy and muddled and there is only a tiny speck of black in the middle for a pupil, and it is very noticeable. She can see nothing out that eye, it is light sensitive, but that is all. Her left eye has the same condition, only not as severe. She has a pupil and an iris and it looks fairly normal, but if you look closely her pupil is not a perfect circle like most peoples, it is larger and is misshapen, and it does not dilate. She can see out of that eye, she is near sighted, but with glasses she has 20/20 vision, in that eye.

I cannot even tell you the emotions that roll through you when the word birth defect and your baby are used in the same sentence. Kicked in the gut, air sucked out of you, room spinning, those are just a few phrases that might capture a hint of what you go through. Only a parent who has experienced this can even imagine. I just sat and stared at him with a look of dumbfoundedness on my face. I didn't say anything, because I knew if I said anything that the dam of emotions that I was barely keeping in check would break and I would have a breakdown. We went back out into the waiting room to wait to see the doctor again and talk about where to go from there. I just sat in the waiting room like a zombie, staring straight ahead, like I was in a trance. I couldn't put a coherent thought together, I was simply trying to digest this news.

We went back in and spoke to the doctor. The next step was to see a cornea specialist. If she was a good candidate a cornea transplant was a possiblity. We left that day with our world changed forever. My heart became much more fragile, and has never fully recovered. I could not call our family and friends to tell them what was going on, the minute I started talking about her I would melt into a puddle of tears. When Donny told my mom I could hear her start crying on the phone and hang up with him quickly. It was a hard day.

We saw the cornea specialist the next week. The plan was to bring her back to look at her eye in depth, through ultrasound and then to admit her to the hospital to put her under anesthesia so they could make a thorough exam of her eye with high powered instruments. They needed to make sure that the rest of her eye was formed properly, to make an accuarate assesment. We got through all that. We found out that the rest of her eyes was, thankfully, normal.

The doctor told us this, we could do a cornea transplant, it might work, might not. There were lots of risks doing transplants on babies so young. And if we were going to do the transplant and have any chance of it working it had to be done now. The thing with the eye is, the muscles and things behind the eye, don't just automatically work at birth. They "learn" how to work, thus why a newborn doesn't see well. If those muscles and such go too long without being used, they will never learn to work. So the transplant would need to be done asap so that those muscles would still have time to get off their lazy butts so to speak. Doing the transplant any time after the early months/few years of life, even if successful wouldn't work because the eye wouldn't know what to do. His recommendation was that since she had vision in her other eye, it was very risky to put her through the surgery, when it might not even be successful. Had she been blind in both eyes he would have recommended the surgery. We opted with the doctor.
I still always wonder if we made the right decision. Even if we had done the surgery I would probably still second guess myself.

We took our baby home that day and got on with our lives, and really have rarely looked back. Because of Kayleigh's limited vision she did not reach the milestones a baby is supposed to reach. She did great at her 6 month appointment, but at her 12 month she was way behind. This is where she began therapy, and also when she got her glasses. Therapy was such a blessing. The therapists were so sweet, they definitley eased the mind and fears of parents who had no clue what to do with their precious baby. She transitioned to wearing her glasses just fine. Within a week of having them she was wearing them from morning to night.

At one time she was seeing 4 different therapists at once, between the ages of 1 and 2. This time is where she struggled the most. She didn't walk until she was 21 months old. She certainly didn't jump, run, hop, climb or do those things like all the kids her age were doing. She was a sweet little girl. So good and obedient and so tender hearted. She was so easy to parent, aside from her developmental struggles, she was a breeze. After age 2 she really took off and we were down to 2 therapists. She was very smart. She learned all the academic things with ease. After age three she went from having therapy once a week to once a month, and at age six went to not needing therapy at all. She has thrived.

Life was/is mostly normal for her, and us. She goes once a year to see her pediatric opthamologist. She does all the things kids her age do. From an outsiders perspective, unless you saw her eye, you wouldn't know she had any issues. She has a few minor things that she might deal with here and there, but nothing she hasn't been able to handle with ease. Her birth defect is very visible, and for that we can do cosmetic contact lenses. We tried them a few years ago. They definitely worked, but the trauma of trying to get her to wear them was too much at the time. And a weird thing happened that day when those contacts were put into her eyes, and they looked normal.

I started crying, not out of happiness, but because with those contacts in, covering her birth defect that has caused us so much pain, it seemed like my daughter wasn't there any more. The defect, which I hate, is such a part of her that now without it, it's like she isn't herself. I kow that sounds weird and doesn't make any sense, it didn't to me either. But it has shaped the beautiful person she has become, that now when we try to change it, it seems like we are trying to change her, and I don't want to change her, she is perfect just like she is. I don't want her to feel like she needs to be changed or conformed to what we think is pretty in order to feel accepted or beautiful, and I think that is what made me cry the most. I know that those feelings of insecurity, awkwardness, and alienation are going to creep into her life soon with the coming of teenage years, and that breaks my heart for her.

I know the next 10 years of her life will probably be much harder than the first 8. I pray that with God she will gain the strength and peace to know that she is beautiful and doesn't need man's approval to feel worthy. I pray that we as her parents are able to mold and make her into the poised young lady who feels confident in who she is and is able to handle any challenges that come her way. I pray that God fills her with His love and she knows that those things, such as outward beauty, don't matter as much as we think they do and that she will gain an eternal Heavenly perspective on life and live each day to be beautiful for God.

I really don't mean to make everything sound trite or that everything is all hunky dory all the time. 99% of the time I have come to terms with it. Then sometimes those raw emotions of bitterness, resentfulness, helplessness and hopelessness pour over me and I weep for my daughter and what I feel can be a hard road. But I also know that I am so blessed, I have my daughter with me, she doesn't have leukemia, a tumor, isn't on a ventilator, some things that parents have had to deal with that are far greater challenges than anything we have to face. And I know that we are just fine.

There is a possiblity that what happened to her eyes can be degenerative, meaning it could get worse in her eye that has sight, with the possibility that it could progress so far that she could be blind in that eye as well. To be honest that possibility cripples me with fear. I have learned to put my trust in God and take it one day at a time. At the beginning it was one hour at at time. But you know what, we got through it! And I know that the person she is today and will become has been shaped by how fearfully and wonderfully made she is and for that I wouldn't change her for anything. Does that mean If I could would I miraculously make her better, of course I would. With that though is a two edged sword. I would never want to change her sweet spirit. So would changing what God has allowed in her life change her emtionally, I'm sure it would. But obviously that isn't what God's plan is for her. Whatever His plan is for her, I am so grateful that I am getting to be a part of it. And I just pray that I don't screw it up!

Sorry for the novel. To be honest here this is the first time I have talked in depth about what we went through, and I really could have written for hours more. I wrote this as much for me as anyone, and it felt good. I hope her story can bless someone or if it could bring someone to know Christ that would be the ultimate in a happy ending, because that is really what life is all about.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Kayleigh, part one

In a previous post someone mentioned to me about not knowing about the challenges our oldest daughter faces. So I decided to write about it and here is her story.

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant, I had been at my parents house for Christmas, Donny had to work and couldn't make it. I was a couple of days late, but was trying to not get anxious or get my hopes up because we had been, not really trying, but not preventing for a year and nothing had happened. We had also miscarried 13 months prior, so I was nervous. My parents lived a couple hours away from where we lived at the time, and on the drive home I could stand the suspense no more, so I stopped at Wal Mart and bought a pregnancy test. Then I headed straight to the women's bathroom and took it right then! It was positive (duh), and I was so excited and naturally couldn't wait to get home to tell Donny. When I got home he was next door at his brother's house, yes we lived next to his brother for a while and are actually still speaking to them, lol. And they had a brand new 3 week old baby, their fourth, which didn't help my baby fever. So I walk in the door and say, in front of his brother and his brother's wife, "there's going to be a new addition to the family", with a big stupid grin on my face. My smart as a whip husband says with a puzzled look on his face, "Courtney (my sister) is having a baby?". I say, no dummy we are! It was a neat day.

Everyone was super excited. This would be my parent's first grandchild, and although my inlaws already had 4 grandchildren, they were very excited because my brother and sister in law had officially closed that chapter of their lives. Oh the time drug by, I could not wait to have this baby. I didn't really enjoy being pregnant that much, because I was just so anxious to meet our child. Of course the first 4 months went by at snail pace, with morning sickness and not really a baby belly, but just enough of a pooch to look fat. I wanted to wear a shirt that said, "I'm pregnant, not fat". Then we got to find out the sex of the baby about half way through and I was overjoyed that it was a girl. I had the biggest smile on my face when they said those words!

Then we had to move. It was either move and my husband keep his great job with awesome benefits, or stay there and HOPE that he could find something that paid halfway decent. We opted to move, it really was the only way I would be able to stay home when our kids came along. So off we go 100 miles from Donny's family and about 200 miles from mine. But we were young and naive and sooo excited to get a fresh start!

Pregnancy was smooth as butter. By week 36 I was OVER being pregnant and I wanted this baby out of me NOW! It was August and 120 degrees in the shade and I was 45 pounds heavier than I had been 8 months earlier. My ankles looke like elephant legs. I was done. Unfortunately, Kayleigh wasn't. She stayed in there for 40 weeks, like a good girl. At my 40 week appointment my blood pressure had risen considerably. Um, I was hot, tired and had been having debilitating back and leg pain for four weeks, I was lucky I hadn't had a stroke, lol! So my doc decided to go ahead and get his girl outta me.

I went in on a Thursday morning for induction, did pitocin for two days. Doctor broke my water morning of day 2, had an epidural a few hours later, and she was born that afternoon. I know labour is not supposed to be fun, but I had such a wonderful experience. I was in no pain, and I was surrounded by a ton of people who were at my beck and call, hehe. I remember when she was crowning and they said, this baby has red hair, and we were all like, really? Sure enough she came out with, not much, but the reddest peach fuzz, we were all so excited. And surprised, gotta say I didn't see that coming! She had a bowel movement in the womb so they took her to make sure she was breathing ok. She was, and they brought her back to me shortly to nurse.

Everything was great! In an I just had a baby way. I was tired and sore and Kayleigh was precious and kept me up all night. The next night after her birth, I was in my room alone, everyone had left, she was in the nursery, and a wave of emotions just swept over me. I just started crying and couldn't stop. It wasn't just being scared or overwhelmed, it was plain out of my control, my hormones had taken over! The nurses were really nice and told me to talk to them if I needed anyone. Just a short time later that evening, I was holding Kayleigh, alone, and I noticed that when her right eye would open it looked really light colored. Not just the pupil, the whole eye. It just didn't look right to me. But newborns do not open their eyes very much at all, and when they do it is pretty much just a squint, so I couldn't get a real good look at it. But it definitely to me did not look like her other eye, which looked normal.

I freaked out. Tears started flowing and I remember thinking, "Oh God no, please there can't be anything wrong with my baby", and I started to panic, really that is too tame of a word for what I felt. I jumped (as well as a woman who has just pushed a baby out of her vagina can) out of the bed and walked to the nurses station and asked them about her eye. They told me that it was really common for babies to have one eye be alot lighter than the other, and everything was ok. So I felt better.

The next day when the pediatrician came in to do her exam before we left, we asked her to look at Kayleigh's eye. She did and assured us that it was fine. Ok, so now I could relax. We took her home that day. What a day that was. I cried all day, for no reason whatsoever. Any mama's can relate. It's like someone is pouring water into your head and it must come out of your body or you will die, and it's only way out is your tear ducts, really annoying by the way.

So the first night we are home is horrible. She wasn't nursing as well as they wanted her to before we left the hospital and they had me convinced she was going to die. They seriously had me so worried I thought she was going to starve to death. No pressure! We got through that first night, and miraculous thing happened the next day. Kayleigh decided she was hungry and that she would eat. Hmmm, who would've thunk it, babies eat when they get hungry, good to know!

The nursing started going much better and I could actually breathe again. The crying was increasing at an alarming rate, mine, not hers! I had completely lost control of my body, seriously. Donny had gone back to work the day after we came home and I had no family or friends in the brand new town we had just moved to 4 months earlier. Can you read, recipe for disaster? So a few days later I take Kayleigh in for her first checkup, everything is great. Then right before the doctor walks out she asks if I have any questions. I then remember that I want her to take a look at her eyes, just as a precaution. The other doctors and nurses had told me after all that she was fine, and I had almost forgotten about it.....almost. There was always still a nagging thought in my head that something was wrong, but being told that everything is ok and wanting to believe it so badly, made me feel comfortable.

She looked at the eye and I immediatly knew something was wrong. She told me she wasn't sure what was wrong, that it could possibly be glaucoma, but she wasn't sure and that we needed to get her seen by a pediatric opthamologist right away. She left the room, and I tried to hold it together, and miraculously did a pretty good job. They took me to an office where a very nice nurse was making the phone calls to get Kayleigh in. They wanted me to take her that day, and the nurse asked me if I had anyone that could go with me right then, and I dissolved into tears. Donny was at work, and I knew not another soul here. Knowing then what I know now I would have just called Donny and said leave now we're going, but I was an emotional wreck and could hardly speak much less think. I felt very be continued

Sorry to break it off right here, but I have so much more to write and I don't want this post to be 30 minutes long. And right here is where our lives changed forever, so I will continue tomorrow.

Monday, January 19, 2009


I am not a big football fan, never have been. Before I married my husband I knew absolutely nothing about the game except the shape of the ball and the general idea of getting the ball from one end of the field to the other. Now I know more than I really want to know, lol! Did you know that there are approximately 1, 423, 628 rules in professional football! My husband isn't a huge football fan, but he does keep up during the season and watches his fair share.

We are St. Louis Rams fans generally. I say generally because right now they bite, bad! So we all have to have a back up team to cheer for, right. Mine is any team that Kurt Warner is playing on, that man is awesome! And right now that is the Arizona Cardinals. For anyone who doesn't know, he became a superstar quarterback with the Rams back in the late 90's and early 2000's. It isn't how great a football player he is that makes him so awesome though. Or how good looking he is, cause ladies he is VERY easy on the eyes. Hey, I know I'm married, and my husband is a wonderful man who I love very much and think is very attractive, but I do have eyes in my head and can actually see other men and it would be ridiculous to not notice the attractiveness of other people on a basic level, lol! Or how just so dang nice he is that makes him so awesome.

It's his decision to live his life for Christ and to give Him all the glory for everything in his life. The man has some kind of testimony! And he doesn't just talk the talk he walks the walk. How refreshing it is to see a highly succesful superstar athlete praise God on national tv, it gives me goose bumps. I don't mean to put him on a pedestal, he is no better than any other Christian living their life for Jesus, it's just so great that with all the crap that usually comes from professional athletes who young people look up to, it's nice to have one that is actually worthy of looking up to.

Oh and in case you don't know the Cardinals have made it to the Super Bowl, go Cards!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

What's with all Drama, Mama's?

I am in a women's church volleyball league. I LOVE it, because I love, love, love to play volleyball. I don't care who I have to play with, what time I have to be there or where it is, I just love to have the opportunity to play. The other women, not so much.

Some are griping because they have to drive 12 minutes instead of 5 minutes to get there this year, others are griping because we go by the more current rules of rally scoring, net serves count, etc., still others say that if we go back to the "old" rules, they don't want to play. Some are griping because the games go faster this year, because of the new rules, others griped last year because we couldn't start on time because the games took longer. One person gripes about people that aren't dependable in other things, yet herself is always late for lots of things and seems to think that doesn't matter. I am so TIRED of the stinkin' whining! Show up and shut up or go home, is what I want to tell them. Everyone thinks they can run it better!

What is it with women that makes us be so dramatic? We bicker, whine, complain, talk behind other's backs. I am not lumping all women into this category, but I know most of us have done this sometime in our lives. And I am not saying we are horrible people because of it either, we're only human. I am usually mostly drama free, but even I get sucked into it once in a while. I am by no means perfect! I am just tired of the constant murmur of discontent. The Bible says in Exodus ..."the people complained and the Lord was displeased..", I am paraphrasing here, so forgive me if that is not 100% correct. Whining is not lady like, nor is it Christ like.

So, I have resoluted (I really don't think that's a real word) to not be so dramatic. I need to cut the whining, the gossiping, the bickering, the listening to gossip, the griping, anything that can fuel drama, I need to STOP! I don't want to hear it anymore! And ladies, this is probably going to be the hardest resolution to keep that I have ever made. I am a talker, and you know that when women talk there is bound to be some drama happening in someone's life.

Along with that resolution is that when I am part of someting that I might think could be done differently, I need to show up and shut up and do my job!

So please pray for me, this human being that I am, will falter. But with God's help I can be a better reflection of his compassion and mercy, and discretion. Oh boy, do I have my work cut out for me!

Monday, January 5, 2009


I don't like to, only if it involves my children bleeding to death do I attempt it. I am new to facebook and have recently discovered that several of my old friends are now running, and I mean serious running, like 5k's and half marathons and such. Makes me jealous. The thing is I never was a runner. I was quite an athlete in high school, volleyball was my favorite, and I played it all through junior high and high school. I was pretty darn good at softball and tennis as well, and I was up to trying any sport at least once. I could do 100 push ups and 50 sit ups in 10 minutes flat, I had the stamina of a horse, but running just never was my strong suit. Runners just seem to be the ultimate athletes, they are (usually) thin, and very dedicated and focused and have lots of energy. I would LOVE to be a runner, but HATE running, I could hit a ball against a wall all day and love it, but running one lap in the gym was detestable. Is there a point to this post, not really, just that I feel like a total slacker and want to magically enjoy running. A girl can always wish, can't I?

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Wii Fit

We just got one today. The hubby has been wanting to get one, and has been on the lookout for the past month. But they have been as hard to find as a husband who does laundry, voluntarily. So today at Wal Mart, to hear Donny tell it, God was looking out for him and we got one of the three that had just been delivered and never even made it to the shelves because they were all purchased within about 2 minutes of being there.

Anyway I digress, I did the wii fitness test and I am officially classified as overweight. Overweight! I have never in my life been overweight. I was always a few pounds under bean pole as a teenager, and have been at my ideal weight for most of my adult life, minus during pregnancy, when you could say I was a few pounds over heifer. But after my third angel was born, when I was at the ripe old age of 33, I haven't been able to get rid of these last 25 pounds of baby fat. Funny thing, eating whole bags of baked BBQ lays with homemade ranch dip and whole bags of chocolate covered peanuts in one sitting, don't exactly jump start weight loss. Who knew? So if I ever want to see single digit sizes again I am going to have to excercise, ugh! I HATE to excercise! I used to never have to excercise. Did I mention I was a size bean pole? And I maintained that ideal weight by eating 4 hamburgers and 2 bowls of cereal for supper every day.

I guess that third child and my advancing age have really knocked my metabolism on it's butt, and it isn't going to get up. I think I have just worked it too dang hard for the 33 years previous an it is on strike. My goal: 10 pounds in one month, and then hopefully 25 pounds as quickly as possible after that. Pray for me. Did I mention that I hate excercise and love chocolate covered peanuts? Yeah, I'm in trouble!

Friday, January 2, 2009

A massage.

I am getting one in about an hour, compliments of my husband, it was one of my Christmas presents. He has gotten me 3 or 4 over the years, and they are by far my favorite present! If you have never had one, please treat yourself at least once. Or when someone asks what you want for Christmas and you can't think of anything, tell them this. It so so stinkin' relaxing there aren't even words to describe it. If every person could have one a week, there would be no road rage, I'm tellin' ya, it works the stress right out of your body. The kids are at grandma's, Donny is asleep because he worked all last night and I have the day to myself to get a massage, that truly is a gift from Heaven, haha! Then tonight we are going to eat and go bowling with our pastor and his wife and another couple from our church, it's a good day!