I know it's been forever since I last blogged. If everyone has forgotten about me I totally understand. I am posting now for me, so if no one reads, not a big deal.
Donny and I started Atkins last Monday. I am now 180 lbs. OH, I am so ashamed to admit that. I am 5' 8", so 180 on me isn't as bad as 180 on someone who is 5'3", but I am overweight for the first time in my life, and it makes me sick. When we got married, 12 years ago, I think I weighed around 130. Now that technically is below what is recommended for someone my height to weigh, and I admit I was too skinny. But, believe me or not, that was my natural weight. I ate like a horse all the time, no dieting for me. Got married, gained 20 pounds, was at probably my ideal weight. Had 2 kids, still skinny. Had Gwennie at age 33, and my body wasn't able to bounce back naturally this time. Eating whole boxes of fudge rounds doesn't help either.
We bought a treadmill, got it in on Saturday, and started eating right and working out on Monday. Donny has gained alot of weight as well since we got married, so he said he would do it too. I was soooo excited after the first three days, I had lost 3 pounds and had lots of energy, I had gotten over cravings and was feeling great. Now I feel lousy. I am exhausted, which can happen when you cut back on carbs, and craving EVERYTHING I can't have, and am freaking out because I haven't lost any more weight. Ok, I know you aren't supposed to weigh yourself very often when you are dieting, but I can't help myself! And I know if I just lose 3 pounds a week, it will only take me 10 weeks to get down to 150, which isn't bad. I haven't cheated on my eating YET, and I haven't skipped out or cut back on my cardio. I'm gonna lose this weight come hell or high water. It just sucks!
I am so mad at myself for letting my body get this out of control. And mad that I can let food control my life. I'm scared that my body won't respond as quickly as it did in the past when I have worked to get the last 10 pounds of baby weight off. I am tired of eating the same things everyday. Did I mention that I am mad! But also mad in a good way, it is fueling my determination to hang in there. The song "The voice of truth" don't know if that is the title, or who sings it, keeps going through my head. It has become my theme song in my battle.
So, it's been one week tomorrow. I have to just get through another day. One day at a time! That has been my mantra through the baby stages of no sleep, and got me through that, surely it can get me through this too. Self, hang in there. It will be sooo worth it in 3 months, when I am (hopefully) 30 pounds lighter. ~sigh~
2 comments:
Good for you in getting serious about changing your life-style.
Girl I would encourage you NOT to call it a diet.
You are cahnging your lifestyle. Eating right portions, choosing fruits and veggies over fudge rounds. Even got a treadmill for exercise. I am not familiar with Atkins or any other "diet" which may be why I AM over weight also.
But here's the thing. Our bodies change. The hormaones aren't what they used to be. Don't get down on yourself cause you didn't "bounce back" you don't have a STAFF of people following you around making you bounce back or a 20 million paycheck depending on it.
Take it easy and do it right. That help keep it off. Not eating for a month will sure drop your weight but it's NOT healthy and that's what you should be going for HEALTH not skinny minnie size 0 jean! Girl you're not a zero! you are a TEN in my book! (Score NOT size! just to be CLEAR!)
As I was saying on the other post....good for you and go gal! Once one gets serious and finds their thing, you make heaps of progress! I think it is awesome what you are doing and look foward to hearing more awesome results!
Bless you,
Charisse
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